Ephemeral Dreams
by Totally Alone
Summary: Kuran Kaname enraptures her. Kiryuu Zero upsets her world and tears her heart in two. Ensnared in love's webs, Yuuki cannot choose - and she realises this: what transpires is still nothing more than a sweet, sweet dream, to be puffed away when she wakes.


While waiting (or not) for the sister story to First Times, do enjoy this threesome one first!

I hope you will enjoy this story – it was written in present tense for a change, since there are so many stories already written in the past tense. Tell me what you think.

Enough rambling; please enjoy!

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Knight.**

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**.;"Ephemeral Dreams";.**

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There is no doubt about it: she loves Kaname. She has loved him since she was a child; she is drawn to him like bees to blossoms without actually knowing _why_, long before she learned of the chemistry called love.

It is always about Kaname. Her little world practically revolves around the mysterious, charming vampire-child who looks more haggard than a boy should ever look. But he still smiles at her – those, at least, are genuine, and she can look back on them with fond longing. Of course, she doesn't know his smiles are rare and hard to earn, so she urges him to smile more.

And he does. Just for her.

If she wants to be cheesy, she can see his acquiescence as his unique way of reciprocating her love. But she digresses. She is but a little girl, after all, and he a grown boy, a lanky adolescent with charm and power – he will not choose her.

Still, her childish heart wants to hope.

She has come to know that her beloved Kaname is a very busy person, and that he has many, many things to do that take precedence over his visits, but…he comes anyway, and she looks forward to it.

After all, within the confines of those four walls, she can snag all the smiles she wants from him. But now that she has grown up, she notices things that she missed as a child. Kaname is friendly, yes, and perhaps the most friendly vampire she knows, but there is this sensation of _distance_ that she feels from him – like he is always watching his step around her. For what, she knows not. She does know, however, that she wants to tear it down.

In the afterglow of his visits, Yuuki never fails to feel sad, because he has gone and her happiness has flown with him. She feels lonely, too, and often sits on the couch and hugs her knees tight, her head tucked in the crook between her legs as she loses herself in fantasies. Will Kaname-sama come again? Will he remember her gift next time?

Will he like her? Will he…_perhaps_…love her? Yuuki giggles and blushes a pretty red, hiding her embarrassment by rubbing her cheeks. It is always like this, a ritual that came to be ever since she met him that harsh, cold winter.

And then one day, when she is twelve, God blesses her with Zero. He turns up at her doorstep broken and bloodied, his expression sullen and dull. Her heart goes out to him, and she takes his shaking shoulders, gently coaxing him to take step after unwilling step into the warmth of the house. She has taken care of him since then.

Selfishly, she thinks she does that only to appease her gnawing hunger for Kaname. But she knows also that it is not entirely true.

Kiryuu Zero upsets her world and tears her heart in two.

Surprisingly, she is not all that sorry. It feels nice to extend her tentative feelings further once in a while, and this sad child makes an interesting choice for her.

Kaname looks jealous, though, when he visits again…and she recoils, just a little. His breath ghosts past her face and sends thrills down her spine. She finds him beautiful even up close.

Zero is the same. _Ah_. Mortified by the sudden thought, she looks away from Kaname. Fingers fidget nervously with the synthetic fur lining of her jacket.

If Kaname noticed something amiss, he said nothing. Yuuki breathes a sigh of relief when he is gone. For once, she does not truly regret it.

She weighs the pros and cons of both boys (and she blushes, because the notion sounds so _mature_), looking at one then at the other, never really coming to a decision. Zero is nice in a queer way – so is Kaname. Zero is pretty – so is Kaname. Zero has captured her heart – _so has Kaname._

It is confusing, and it hurts her head to mull over it, but she does it because she'd rather not toy with their feelings more than need be. No one knows of her deep thoughts – they are her secrets, and hers alone.

Of course, Zero's constant presence and Kaname's lack thereof makes a stark difference. _Like black and white_, she notes to herself. It is only one point, though, and surely she cannot base her conclusion on just that?

In the meantime she prefers to think of her relationship with them as a middleman, where she acts as a line of sorts between her two best boy friends. Kaname passes his care to her, and she in turn lavishes part of it on Zero, who she feels needs the care more than she does. His broken gaze is heart-rending to see.

It is silly, this belief of hers. Zero and Kaname _hate_ each other – it is more obvious on Zero's part than on the latter's, but it is there. Kaname holds himself tighter whenever he sees Zero, and if Yuuki doesn't know better she might imagine Zero spitting and hissing like a cat in retaliation.

Comical, yes, but this will not do. She cannot pick one while they dislike each other.

So she dons the role of a peacemaker and tries to breach the gap between them. There is no marked improvement, but things seem less bleak than before, so she assumes that her endeavours bore fruit.

_A little is better than nothing_, Kaname once told her.

_Keep what you can get_. That was Zero's clipped advice.

She doesn't stop to admire the similarity of their words.

She feels really happy being cradled in the arms of two whom she loves; she will keep it and cherish it just because they give it to her. That is enough.

Kaname is kind. He has a way with words; he twists and turns them around his little finger until they send her excitement into overdrive, amazing her with his simple yet complex sentences. His hands are gentle, too, and often Yuuki is tempted to stare at them, half in rapture and half in apprehension – she never really got rid of her trauma.

Zero…Zero is an enigma, a mystery whose secrets she siphons with care for fear of it shattering. He is the epitome of fragility, of delicate butterflies that flit about in the garden – beautiful and free, but very much vulnerable. She feels sorry for him. His constant presence is undeniable, and she supposes that he grows on her more than she bargains for.

So…Zero or Kaname? She knows not.

Yuuki sighs and pulls herself out of her dilemma. She untangles her fingers from her mop of hair, letting them slide as though to comb her silky brown locks. When she opens her eyes, both of them are there.

Together they send her up to cloud nine – but always in pairs, never in threes. It makes her fret. She asked them why, once.

Kaname's reply was to smile at her and deflect her question with a graceful wave of his hand, though his eyes turned steely and cold.

Zero just stalked out of the room.

She never asked them again.

The years fly past; days melt into weeks, and weeks into months, bringing with it a change of seasons to mark each new year. Yuuki cuts her hair the day she enters high school with Zero. Kaname is already there, of course, leading the Night Class who she will soon associate with the dreaded term 'vampire'.

It tastes bitter on her tongue, and it burns like acid, but she realises that she must accept it as part and parcel of life.

That acceptance is probably what saved her from mental breakdown when Zero bites down on her soft neck and drains her blood. She still remembers the suckling sounds he made, quiet yet unbelievably loud as it roared in her ears. She still remembers his possessive grip on her, tight, unyielding and unforgiving.

It is something she can never forget. And although things flowed onward like normal the very next day, she cannot help but feel that something has been permanently, irreparably changed.

Kaname-senpai, too, grows less subtle with his approaches, striding up to her whenever she does her duties to breathe a hello near her ear, uncaring of the gaping audience he draws. She cares, though, and she pushes him away in an embarrassed gesture.

She hopes his heart doesn't break too much.

Here in Cross Academy the relationship between Zero and Kaname becomes more precarious, teetering on a pin she dares not touch. Zero's hatred towards Kaname is nothing less than pure, unadulterated loathing, and it breaks her heart to see the two conflict so.

She wants a union, not a fission.

And then she royally screws up by becoming a _pureblood vampire_ herself; the very thing Zero hates.

Suddenly, Zero stops fighting for her affection, giving the sole right to her brother and ancestor, Kuran Kaname. She doesn't know whether to laugh or cry.

She does both in turn, perusing them in tandem like how one would change shoes or clothes.

At the end of the day, when she is weary and worn, she concludes her epic struggle: what transpires is still nothing more than a sweet, sweet dream, to be puffed away once she wakes.

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. owari .

Calling Zero pretty is intentional. So is the 'boy friend' part; that is a pun.

This one gave me a lot of problems chronology-wise, because I kept imagining Yuuki as a teenager rather than the child she should be at the beginning! Still, I finished it, and I'm pretty pleased with the result.

Do tell me what you think of this; I appreciate any type of comments other than, of course, nonsensical flames.


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